I'm not, but I could be. Let me clarify...For the most part, I have shared the positives of my weightloss journey through this blog. There are LOTS of positives. And while my journey has been remarkably easy, I must confess that I really miss food and some of what is associated with it. I also am discovering that I crave things I never did before and my will power to turn it down can be thwarted fairly easily. Not only do I crave things, but if available and I give into the temptation, I tend to binge until the said food item is GONE. For example, I bought a half gallon of ice cream to have a bowl of and share with my family. Well the second night it was in the house and nobody was eating it, I felt an almost uncontrollable urge to finish it off. It nearly consumed all of my thoughts and would not let up until I gave in. I finally gave in and ate it ALL. Another example, last night we were setting up our Christmas tree and I decided I would make a few cookies to add to the festivities. I made 10 cookies. My kids each ate one, my wife ate two, I ate the rest. I wasn't hungry, but I had no will power at all.
It is disconcerting that with all of the success I have had losing the weight and getting my physical body back in shape, I still have not found the magic ticket to correct my behavior. So, while I am not a crack addict. I do see how someone could become addicted to a substance.
All that being said, I am so glad I had the surgery. The beauty of my situation is that even with my errant behaviors, I have a tool that will help me continue to lose the weight and keep it off for the long haul.
By the way, today I will run my first 5K race. It is 15 degrees outside. What was I thinking.
Marc
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