Revision

It has been 9 years and 9 months since I had lap-band surgery. It was a life saving surgery. Yet somehow, I know how, I'm nearly back where I started. 5' 10", 305 lbs, BMI of 43, severe sleep apnea, way out of shape...generally a human slug.


Within a few years after lap-band, I started making bad food choices. I figured out how to cheat my band and eat what I wanted. I've learned that I have a very destructive rebellious streak when it comes to food. It isn't healthy. I've also had some complications with my band. I've also learned that the band is simply a restrictive procedure that doesn't increase satiation or have any of the hormonal benefits of other bariatric procedures. You just don't feel full like you should, with the band. There is point when you know to stop eating, but the feeling of fullness is very different than without the band.

There is a lot of shame getting to the place where I am. Why would I regain health and then purposely eat it all away? It makes no sense and the shame is real.

So...I'm having a revision surgery on January 18, 2016 from the band to the gastric sleeve. I am 100% aware that this will not fix my emotional addiction to food. It will, however, get the problematic band out of me and offer a fresh start with a different procedure. The fresh start will involve: counseling, exercise, different choices, and an effort to forgive myself.

It's all complicated...emotionally complicated.